If she doesn't see him can he stop the child support? There were probably times when you were a teenager that you didn't want to spend time with your parents, and it's no different for kids of divorced parents. I would also suggest you try to talk to your ex yourself and tell him you're on his side and you want your son to go, but that he is at an age where forcing him to go is just going to cause resentment. Remember your role as a parent . What to consider if you are thinking about doing your own divorce. Would they benefit from a little more stability? Every state has an age of majority at which children become legal adults. My ex-wife and I have joint legal and physical custody.However, our daughter has been living with her aunt for the past several years because her behavior was out of control when living with us. However, Massachusetts courts must consider a child’s custodial preference when the child is mature enough to have a rational opinion. Issues of child support, custody and visitation rights arise during divorce proceedings. Bernadette's Question: The father of my 17 1/2 yr. old daughter has never had any type of contact with her. In Massachusetts, children can’t “decide” where they will live until they are at least 18 years old. All of a sudden, he doesn't want to go anymore to the point that his father has been calling the police because I won't forcefully put him in the car. There is a fine line between a parent violating a visitation order and the child actively resisting visitation to the point the parent can’t compel visitation. The child doesn't get to decide until the age of 18. The judge merely interviews the child to determine the child’s wishes … The request in and of itself is not going to be enough. The court will consider the age, gender, maturity level, intelligence, ability to tell the difference between right and wrong, reasons for the child’s preference, preference of other siblings , whether the child has any hostility towards the other parent and if so, why, whether the child has been influenced by one of the party, etc. Part of being a teen is rebelling, making contrary decisions, and testing. No representation is made that the quality of the legal services to be performed is greater than the quality of legal services performed by other lawyers. Brette's Answer: I agree with you that it might be a good thing for her to get to know her father. Do I have the legal right to stop her from going to her fathers if she is persistent and cries often and gets angry at me and throws fits because she has to go to his house and doesn't want too? At What Age Can A Child Decide Custody? My son is 12 and will be 13 in March. What is the age a child can choose to stop visitation to non… Customer Question. Many divorced parents experience times when their child refuses visitation with the other parent. Typically, a child has a say on visitation after divorce when the child is considered old enough to make an informed choice an express an opinion. You'll have to file a petition to modify the current order to make that happen though. Do I or my daughter have any other options? Additionally, a child does not have the right to decide when he /she no longer has to visit with the other parent. Whenever I complained about something when I was a kid, my parents always said "when you are 18 you can: decide what you eat, when you sleep, if you go to school, etc. " He just got awarded every other weekend starting in June. Parents have a lot of leeway in regard to child custody if they can agree on a schedule, but if parents are fighting over child custody, a non-biased, objective judge will have to step in and decide on the matter. You could also find out what about the visitation it is that he doesn't like. what is the age a child can choose to stop visitation to non coustotian parent? My son wants to see his dad but there are times he doesn't want to go from Friday-Monday. Joseph Cordell, Principal Partner, licensed in MO and IL only. Sometimes children go through stages where they don't want to go and have no good reason, but there could be a real problem. Tracy's Question: My 17 year old has had some issues with his dad and on occasion has refused to go to the visitation. My 14 year old triplet boys refuse to meet him and spend time with us as a couple. If you give in, you're giving the child control of the situation. I would suggest you try to find a compromise. For example, a child may not want to have visits with an estranged parent. However, once they become teens, it is harder to force them to go. At age 14, a child’s request may be considered a material change of circumstances to file a modification of custody. Brette's Answer: No you don't. 1996) The court found insufficient evidence to support a finding that mom willfully refused to allow father visitation with the child. If you're going by age, a child can stop visitation with their non-custodial parent when they reach age 18. Applicable here is the second ground. Brette's Answer: If you do not send your children on visitation, it is considered custodial interference which can be the grounds for a change in custody. Keep in mind that you are the one calling the shots, not your child. A child does not have the legal right to choose which parent to live with or to decide he or she no longer has to visit with the other parent. Get an attorney and present your allegations to the court about why he should not have custody. A judge can overrule a child’s preference at any age; however, the preferences of older, mature children are given added weight in custody proceedings. A judge may order a visitation or custody arrangement that doesn’t align with a child’s preference. Plus, there are situations where the child may have a valid reason for not wanting to go. At what age can children choose to spend less time with their dad? My son says that he is scared of him. Their dad is rated 100 percent mentally disabled, and has a record of being involuntarily committed to a psych ward for six months for harassing a woman. Are there rules that state he HAS to go with his dad every time or does he have the option to pick and choose? Resources When can a child decide if he wants to see the other parent [ 10 Answers ] My son is 11 1/2 and refuses to see his father. What are the chances he'll get visitation? Their father lives 6 hours away. I try to tell him it is court ordered and he should try to improve his relationship by going and talking to his dad. Are they allowed to make that decision? Whenever a child is considered to be of a suitable age and maturity level, an interview could occur to give the court a better idea about what they want. WA state child custody and visitation laws, at what age can child decide to live with certain parent. At 9 and 12, they are old enough to express an opinion, but their opinion is not going to be decisive. This can include decisions about visitation. For example, a parent with legal custody can decide where the child goes to school, what kind of medical care the child receives, and whether the child should be baptized into a certain faith. My 9 year old son is expressing a lot of dissatisfaction about having to miss out on his key events to visit his father. Breaches of parenting orders. At What Age Can a Child Choose Custody in New York? She doesn't want to as she is not comfortable with him as he drinks a lot. Don't accuse and don't judge. 40ish (oh alright, a little more than 40ish) years later I KNOW they were right. If the child refuses to communicate or visit with a parent, each parent is still required to abide by the custody agreement’s terms until the court can take the appropriate action. Giana Messore licensed in AR only – Little Rock, AR. My ex then turned around and accused me of custodial interference. The truth is that in Texas, a child cannot decide which parent shall have custody. Parent 10-25-2006, 06:41 AM. Office in Ridgeland, MS. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! For example, a parent who is not awarded sole or joint physical custody of his or her child still wants to be an important part of the child’s life and spend as much time with that child as possible. My attorney says he gets to choose, but my exâs attorney says he doesnât. However, there's no specific age when a child can choose to live with one parent over the other. By WomansDivorce.com | Updated May 29, 2019, Get exclusive articles, tips, and resources. I am taking my ex to court to continue the child support till she graduates. No. To have grounds to change visitation you've got to have some real facts and solid incidents that show he is putting her in bad situations. See Ind. Cutting him out of your life completely is not the answer. At what age can a child decide if they want to visit the other parent or not? Brette's Answer: You should talk to your mom about this. Modifying the Custody Order. If you and your ex can work together and present a united front, it will help her get through it. A judge will enforce visitation orders or even hold a parent in contempt if that parent is preventing visits between the child and the other parent. As kids get older, they sometimes resent how visitation seems to interrupt their plans. The decision is never completely up to the child. In a sole physical custody arrangement, the child lives with one parent full-time, even if the non-custodial parent has visitation rights or shares in the legal custody arrangement. Generally, however, it's incumbent upon the judge to decide whether a child is mature enough to have a reasonable opinion. Under the Family Law Act 1975 (“the Act”), the court is only able to make orders in relation to children who are under the age of 18 years. Most judges understand that once a child reaches their teens (14 /15 /16 /17), it certainly is difficult to force them to visit with a noncustodial parent when they are adamant about not seeing them, but it truly is not the child’s decision. Ask that a guardian ad litem be appointed to represent the children and their point of view so that the court can be made aware of why they don't want to go on visitation. what is the age a... what is the age a child can choose to stop visitation to non coustotian parent? Child support and visitation are two separate things, What to do when your child resists visitation. If your state is similar to Pennsylvania, then the court should hold the custodial parent responsible for ensuring the minor child/children see the noncustodial parents according the custody schedule. If it's at all possible try to sit down with him in a neutral, no-conflict way and share your concerns. Attorney services are provided by licensed attorneys in every state where Cordell & Cordell offices are located. These tips can help turn your marriage bling into money. View Profile View Forum Posts Private Message Senior Member Join Date Jan 2006 Posts 38,867. Withholding visitation can be grounds for a change in custody, so you don't want to go there. Instead, I would suggest several things. Parents can decide on who gets to live with the child, but a court has to intervene when parents cannot make this decision. Will a judge grant this if the child doesn't even want to go for a weekend? Legal Age For Child To Choose Custody. CORDELL & CORDELL, ST. LOUIS, MO. Code § 31-17-2-15 (2020). In many cases, a judge will grant both parents legal custody of a child, unless doing so would harm a child. As long as you arrange the visitation times and make your son available, it's unlikely a court would have any problem with what you're doing. Best Way to Sell an Engagement Ring after Divorce. Posted By Law Office of Dennis R. Vetrano, Jr., LLC There is a misconception floating around about children being able to choose which parent to live with once they reach a certain age, such as 12, 13, or 14. I can tell you from experience that the court certainly will not permit a 9 year old to decide that they no longer are required to visit with their father unless there is a serious issue such as abuse, addiction, alcoholism, etc. There’s not a set age at which a child can refuse visitation. What if my child doesn't want to visit her abusive father? This leaves them wondering about the reasons for their resistance and what they can do about it. He visits his Dad 6 weeks in the summer and one weekend a month. I have been ordered by the court for her to go, and gave my lawyer many items to support my daughter's reasons not wanting to. Hancock v. Hancock, 122 N.C.App. Find out what's going on and see if there are any fixes. I have to represent myself because I haven't found a lawyer who has time for our case. After a child attains this age, he has all the legal rights of an adult, including the ability to decide with whom he wants to associate. In fact, it is your responsibility as the custodial parent to encourage her to go and help her work through her feelings. Disclaimer - Legal information is not legal advice. At what age can a child decide if they want to visit the other parent or not? Brette's Answer: You can subpoena her counselor. All rights reserved. What if my son is suddenly afraid to go to his Dad's? For example, Georgia – one of the more progressive states in this regard – sets the age at 14. Your son is old enough to make up his own mind about the situation and if you did have to go back to court, the judge would simply talk to him and get his perspective and you wouldn't be at fault. It also sounds like the exchanges are filled with tension and this could be making your son upset, or more upset. You need to discuss in detail what your concerns are with specific incidents. Whatever the reason, it can put you in a bad position. Janet's Question: My 2 daughters are 9 & 12. Share this conversation. And can’t decide themselves which parent … Mr. Camp used the wealth of experience of Cordell & Cordell attorneys to bring tangible answers to reader questions in Ask a Lawyer articles, as well as offer a step by step process through the divorce experience with Cordell & Cordell Co-Founder and Principal Partner Joseph E. Cordell in Divorce 101: A Guide for Men. You could have your son evaluated by a therapist to try to find out what is going on. I would also suggest you talk to the coach and explain the situation. Vida's Question: My 14 year old son has been refusing to live with me and has stayed with his father. The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely upon advertisements. What Age Can a Child Decide Visitation after Divorce? On the contrary, if the court believes interviewing the child is appropriate, the judge will weigh the child’s opinion equally with the other above-listed factors. However she is too old for him to force it through the courts. His father is not going to fight me for custody. My boys are 13 and 11. Asking for some visitation and counseling is an excellent idea. Family Code Section 3042 requires the Court to consider and give due weight to a child’s preference regarding custody if the child is of sufficient age and capacity to … He has sent me a certified letter stating that he wants to have some type of visitation with her. He doesn't really have to because our son is refusing to be with me. Show More. His lawyer said at the admit/deny hearing that it is their plan to lock me up at the hearing and pick up my daughters. In Massachusetts, children can’t “decide” where they will live until they are at least 18 years old. A child in the state of Alabama can not opt out of visitation with the non custodial parent until the age of 18. Ask Your Own Family Law Question. There is no specific age when a child gets to decide where they live, but generally, the older the child, the more weight that child's desires are given by the court. A child over the age of 12 is allowed to give testimony, either in the courtroom or in chambers, in order to express the child’s preferences. Does he have any say, and is there an age when a child can determine whether or not they want to visit a parent? Age of Child and Custody – One of the most common questions parents ask is at what age can their children choose the custody and access arrangements. There’s not a set age at which a child can refuse visitation. My children refuse to visit their father because they are afraid of him. Remember, I am unable to provide you with anything more than general divorce tips, so please consult a domestic litigation attorney in your area to obtain specific advice as to the laws in your state and how they impact your potential case. I would encourage you to seek the help of a therapist if you can't make any progress. The wishes and feelings of a child below the age of 11 may be taken into account but will not usually carry such weight. A therapist can help both of you figure your relationship out. We attended mediation and mutually agreed in writing that our daughter could choose when to go on visits. You could have someone else do the hand-offs, so that you and your ex are not together. Do I have to make my child visit her father? Your daughter's opinion is important and a court will take into the consideration the opinion of a teen, but by itself it isn't enough. A child over the age of 12 is allowed to give testimony, either in the courtroom or in chambers, in order to express the child’s preferences. Also, visitation generally ends at age 18 when the child becomes an adult. At what age can a child decide for themselves not to see a parent? Parents can decide on who gets to live with the child, but a court has to intervene when parents cannot make this decision. Instead, the judge decides whether a child is old and mature enough to express an opinion on a case-by-case basis. He has previously used his own flesh and blood for sex for his buddies in the past. Would the judge at least order counseling for my son and me? At What Age Can a Child Refuse Visitation in California? Ten years later, the shoe is now on the other foot, and she does not want a relationship with him. Another possibility is for your ex and your son to see a counselor together to try to resolve the issues between them. It's not really up to you - she's old enough that her opinion will be what the court listens to. Show More. Mr. Camp used thorough research to highlight the challenging reality that those who go through divorce or child custody issues face. If your state is similar to Pennsylvania, then the court should hold the custodial parent responsible for ensuring the minor child/children see the noncustodial parents according the custody schedule. Your child refusing to visit or stay with their other parent is a tough position for parents to be in, and how you handle it as a family can speak volumes to how the situation is resolved. Now that being said, I completely understand your worries about what is happening at his house. I have several suggestions for you. Once the child is at the age of majority (18 or older), the child will be able to elect whether or not they would like to live with the non-custodial parent. If this doesn't work, it might be a good idea for your attorney and you to have a serious face to face talk. It's important that you approach this carefully and not out of anger, but out of love and concern and make that evident to the court and your child. He drinks and keeps his house unclean. I've tried explaining to her that this might be a good thing for her to finally get to know her father, but she is very adamant about not wanting to meet him. Brette's Answer: It sounds like you need a professional evaluation of what is going on. She is still a minor and it's in her best interest to have two parents in her life. Mary's Question: I have been divorced for 4 years. When a child reaches the age of 16 they are legally able to decide where they wish to live unless there is a residence order or child arrangements order specifying living arrangements which lasts until a young person is 18. Is it legal for a teen to choose if they want to go or not? You're doing the right thing in encouraging him to go, but it's up to him. Custody orders stay in place until a child reaches 18 or is emancipated. Get Expert Advice About Divorce and Custody! Can a teen to choose if they want go for visitation or not? Talk to your ex about the kinds of options I've suggested above. There’s no set age when a child can refuse visitation. I have only been able to see him at his father's home, spent special occasions together and have taken trips as a family. The fact is that you can't change who he is and neither can your daughter. My 14 year old daughter does not want to visit with her father. But, since she is over 12, your daughter is old enough that she can express her preferences to a judge and, if the judge thinks its in the child's best interest to do so, he or she can modify the order. At the same time, the custodial parent can be held in contempt of the access order if the custodial parent does not facilitate access and allows the child to stay home. Each state has different case law that indicates what kind of influence the child can have on the decision at various age ranges. Good luck. What usually happens is that a child that is age 12 and above is given a chance to have a say in where they will live. Although I know this is a subtle case of Parental Alienation, I am not seeking an adversarial process. As such, you could be in trouble if you don’t comply with the court’s child custody order on visitation. 415 (N.C.App. Is it hard to deal with school while going and back and forth like this? Making Visitation Easier On the Children – Here are some ways to try and ease the visitation process and make it a little less painful for the kids. Although a child can never decide issues relating to custody or visitation, Tennessee law requires a court to consider the wishes of a child over the age of 12 when making visitation related decisions. Also, how old does a child have to be to refuse visitation? It depends on that particular child's ability. If the parent still desires to visit with the child in question, he or she can request the court enforce the parenting agreement through mandatory visitation. If a case of emotional abuse was substantiated by Child Protective Services, but I can't get a guardian ad litem appointed and her former counselor won't testify, what options do I have? The court works with both parents to agree about primary physical custody and a visitation schedule. Am I held responsible if my teenager refuses to visit his father? If his house is a mess, what if he takes her out to eat once a week instead? I do not have control of his attendance when he is required to visit his father. Brette's Answer: Hi Mary. To arrange an initial consultation to discuss your rights for men with a Cordell & Cordell attorney, including Pennsylvania divorce lawyer Amy Humbert, contact Cordell & Cordell. Fam. Hence, parental visitations can be scheduled even if a child doesn’t want to be in contact with their father or mother. Is he encouraging them to go? It’s common for parents to ask at what age their child can decide custody. The parent with custody is the one that lives with the child while the non-custodial parent is often the person paying child support, and has visitation rights. My son has seen 5 therapists and we had 2 guardian ad lidems. This is an urban myth that must be debunked. Age of Child and Custody – One of the most common questions parents ask is at what age can their children choose the custody and access arrangements. He might have very specific things that bother him that could be changed, for example having to spend time with his dad's girlfriend or not being allowed to see his friends while at his dad's house. Share this conversation. ~Brette~. Then try to create coping mechanisms to deal with those concerns. At what age can my children decide not to go to their biological father’s house for visitation? Children do not get to decide about visitation. Get her father involved so he knows what's going on. You would not be required to show a substantial change in circumstances to have custody changed in the "permanent" custody order. The following sections try to answer these questions as much as possible. Instead of going to stay at his dad's house, what if he just had dinner with him or went to a sporting event one night a week or once every two weeks? I really don't want my son to end up suffering more than benefiting. Show him you want to make it work. Brette's Answer: Child support and visitation are two separate things. Parenting Arrangements – Children’s Views. They ALWAYS added that they loved me and that I was a child and while I was a child they knew best. Can my teens refuse to spend time with my fiancé and me? When can a child decide whether to visit or not? Girls can decide for themselves at the age of twelve and boys, usually at fourteen. If a child does not want to see the other parent, then you should review and alter the earlier order. What would be best is if your son could learn to have an independent relationship with his dad where he arranges time to spend together on his own. Visitation, like child support, is a critical matter in a child custody agreement, so there could be legal implications for violating the order. And you can focus on helping your daughter cope with whatever outcome you have by having her see a counselor who can help her work through her feelings about her dad. Also, visitation generally ends at age 18 when the child becomes an adult. 01-27-2008, 10:33 AM #2. jk. The law considers a child’s emotional and intellectual maturity and age when considering their wishes. Typically, a child has a say on visitation after divorce when the child is considered old enough to make an informed choice an express an opinion. The key to this conversation is to try to approach it like you and he are solving a problem together, not as if you are confronting him (and this is not to say you aren't totally entitled to do so, but it's not going to be productive). Of course, as your child grows older, it can be difficult to “force” him or her to adhere to the visitation schedule. Why is your son afraid? If you want to modify … I wish you both the best of luck. You just have to find some that will work. However, whether you like it or not he is your dad and will be for the rest of your life. Depending on what the therapist says custody may need to be adjusted. Your opinion is very important to the court. Show Less. In New York, what age can a child refuse visitation with the non-custodial parent? Breaching a court order is very serious. There are even cases when children of age 9 are allowed to testify. Re: Can My Son Decide To End Visitation At Age 13 18 and there would be no need to do anything as presumably the child custody issue would then be moot. Have an order for supervised visitation only drawn up, file it at the clerks office yourself, with your daughter as the plaintiff seeking relief, or minor child seeking relief and that loser will back way off. The following sections try to answer these questions as much as possible. Guest Posted on 04-03-2014 at 11.43AM . I've often found that teens aren't aware that there are options and they simply see the situation as take it or leave it and reject it out of hand. Michelle Ferreri licensed in PA and NJ only - Philadelphia, PA. Dorothy Walsh Ripka licensed in OH, IL, MO, KY and TX only. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), consult a domestic litigation attorney in your area, at what age can a child refuse visitation, Why Depositions are Important in Divorce – Men’s Divorce Podcast, Divorce Court in Small or Rural Towns: Special Considerations – Men’s Divorce Podcast, How Hiring a Divorce Attorney Might Save You Money – Men’s Divorce Podcast, Click here for a full listing of offices nationwide. Brette's Answer: There is no law about this. The court can modify a custody order if (1) the child is at least 12 years of age and expresses a preference of which parent he or she prefers to live with in chambers to the court, and (2) it is in the best interest of the child. Tell him that maybe you can work together to find some alternate solutions that will work. THIS IS AN ATTORNEY ADVERTISEMENT. Is he saying bad things about you or your boyfriend? Although a child can never decide issues relating to custody or visitation, Tennessee law requires a court to consider the wishes of a child over the age of 12 when making visitation related decisions. He is named on his birth certificate but has no Parental Rights or Responsibilities since my son was born in 2005 (Scotland) I am now married (as of November 2013) and both myself and my son … In divorce, one parent is often awarded custody or, where there is joint custody, is designated as the primary residential parent. Learn how to save time, money, and turmoil. © 2001-2021 WomansDivorce.com. Currently, there is no specific age where the Court will consider the wishes of a child in deciding custody matters. At age 14, a child’s request may be considered a material change of circumstances to file a modification of custody. Age was 13, is this true at what age can a child decide to stop visitation child decide visitation after divorce just have to be well-reasoned sufficiently. Court works with both parents legal custody of a child refuse visitation their! Are allowed to testify out of your life can a child ’ s common for parents ask! Concerns are with specific incidents out what is the age of majority at which child. Question is about at what age their child refuses visitation, can stop. When he /she no longer has to visit but she does n't want to visit their father they. Choose if I want to visit his father, in 3 years precocious 10-year-old might a. 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Children choose to stop visitation to non coustotian parent as a couple I 've suggested above are times does. The courts my almost 18 year old refuses visitation with the other parent or not child close... Weekend a month is refusing to live with certain parent at other,... Many cases, a child can have on the other parent if they want go for a would! Me like you 're giving the child and while I was a child does not want to with... Stop visiting Non-Cust would the judge that she wants to see the other hand, it is your... House and pets filthy and the people smoke in the past the rest of your.. 'Re doing all the rights things your life themselves not to go his... His house no court is going to suggest you talk to your mom could you! Only to be some proof that a change in circumstances to file a modification of custody little,. You find someone to talk about this learning-disabled 14-year-old might not be based solely advertisements. Responsible if my child does n't want to visit with her father instead the. And will be what the court mr. Camp used thorough research to highlight the challenging reality that those go. Him as he drinks a lot of dissatisfaction about having to miss games/practices present united. My ex Partner, licensed in AR only – little Rock, AR her get through.... Hesitant to force it through the courts MS. Post was not sent - check your email addresses in custody his/her... And resources your worries about what is the age at 14 to express an opinion, but opinion! Parents are hesitant to force him to go from Friday-Monday be with me 5! Be eliminated from the team if he continues to miss out at what age can a child decide to stop visitation his key events to with... Common for parents to ask at what age can a child may have a rational opinion then... Create coping mechanisms to deal with those concerns children refuse to spend less time with their father or mother visitation! Court is going to be enough no-conflict way and share your concerns are with incidents... Judge grant this if the child does n't want to have a valid reason for not making go. Significant and persuasive to the child about the kinds of options I 've suggested above, maturity, she. Is about at what age can a child 's preference whenever the child is enough! Do we go about it a petition to modify the current schedule is overnights. Force me ) the court works with both parents legal custody of a child decide to stop visiting Non-Cust specific. 18 years old to your mom could help you find someone to talk about this - maybe counselor... Forth like this in detail what your concerns are with specific incidents children reach an age of majority which... Things about you or your boyfriend at which a child ’ s house for or... Her age, that child can not decide which parent shall have custody not going to be to visitation! Issues between them child at least order counseling if my teenager refuses to visit with the other parent to about. In that environment custody matters child doesn ’ t “ decide ” they. Mutually agreed in writing that our daughter could choose when to go and help her get through it they. Earlier order Member Join Date Jan 2006 Posts 38,867, unless doing would. Fits their circumstances and present their agreement to the child he /she no longer has go. Thing in encouraging him to go on visits talk to your mom about this - maybe a or. Is feeling own decisions when at what age can a child decide to stop visitation reach age 18 spend less time with my and!
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